


Any Way You Choose

by iamnotalizard



Category: Cobra Starship, The Academy Is...
Genre: Crossdressing, Gender Identity, Kinda, M/M, gender fluid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:49:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1417417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotalizard/pseuds/iamnotalizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When William found out about how he felt, he had nothing but questions. He researched and asked people, he even talked to the school consoles which was way harder than it sounds. When he told people they had nothing but questions, some rude, most just so they could understand. When Gabe found out, he didn't ask anything, didn't miss a beat. William kind of sorta loves not having to explain himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Any Way You Choose

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a disclaimer, this is using my interpretation of gender, and any knowledge I have acquired about being Gender fluid. This being said, the way I think of gender, or explain, describe, write it, may be different from yours. I apologize if you do not agree with how I think of it, and I do hope I do not completely butcher it.

            When William first started feeling like this, he thought he was a girl, thought he was a transgender. Looking back, he found it a little embarrassing that he didn’t even stop to think about it, just jumped to the first conclusion, but it made sense at the time. Well, at the time he didn’t even know what ‘gender fluid’ meant, but he’s glad he found out, William isn’t sure what he could do if he just told himself that he was a girl, that was it, end of story.

            When William found out he was gender fluid, he was momentary filled with complete and utter bliss. After feeling so lost about what he was, knowing what he could identify as was as wonderful as a lost sailor seeing a lighthouse in the middle of a storm. But then he started freaking out again because _what the fuck does that mean if I’m gender fluid?_

            In the end, William found out that simply, he was a boy, but he was also a girl. He had so many questions, even when he found this out. What would his pronouns be? Did he have to change his name? What about his clothes? He ended up waiting until he had sex-ed, when the school hired a “Sex Expert” and asked her. She smiled real nice, and answered all his questions, but ended it with, “But don’t forget, this isn’t definitions we’re talking about, we’re talking about _you._ Do what makes you comfortable and happy, not what some book says you should do.”

            William thought it was ironic, since she had a cross necklace on, but then again, at least she took her words to heart.

            So, William did what he thought was best. He experimented. He stole his sisters skirts and dresses, he cut his hair, he searched the internet, and he bought makeup. It was the most comfortable he felt in a long time. William decided against hiding it, because if he did then what the fuck was the whole point of doing all that, and he had surprisingly little criticism. Once a girl he barely talked to came up to him in the hallway and complimented the dress he was wearing that day.

            He told his mom not long after, at first she rolled her eyes and said it was just a phase, but after William explained it to her, she just did that sigh that only moms can achieve and said, “If it makes you happy, it makes you happy.”

            Before William knew it, he was out of highschool, only a few bruises and cuts came with him, and he was in a band and touring. Even though he knew the fans would probably not mind if he told them, he didn’t. He didn’t keep it a secret, all of his friends, family, and record label knew, but, it was hard sometimes.

            Whenever he told people, they were just so. Just, so. So _curious._ William knew they meant well, most of the time, but it was annoying, answering the same questions, over and over and over again. It was just easier to let the fans believe he was a boy, end of story. Besides, he kept his male pronouns, even though he wasn’t opposed to people calling him a ‘she’ or ‘her’ but ‘he’ was good too.

            But the questions. When William first found out about how he felt, he had nothing but questions, and when he actually found something that he felt he could identify with, he still had endless questions. His mother had questions, his sister had questions, his friends had questions, his band members had question, Pete fucking Wentz had questions, every had so many questions William felt like he had just been answering questions ever since he was sixteen years old. Sometimes, William just wanted to shrug and say, “Nevermind, I don’t care.” even though he did.

            That was his dilemma. He wanted people to know, but he didn’t want to be the one who had to teach everyone.

-x-x-

            William didn’t really give genders to his clothes, he didn’t feel the need to think, “Am I a girl, or a boy today?” he just pulled on whatever clothes he liked. When he was younger, he had to think about it, but now he knew himself well enough to know if he wanted to wear a skirt, or jeans. It wasn’t like it was a _big thing_ in his life, one that he thought about. When explaining it to people, he used his blood type as an example. In a way, yes, it was a huge part of him, but he didn’t have to think about it a lot, if the needs arises he will, but most of the time, it’s just him, and that’s it. However that just seemed to confuse people even more.

            William knew that their intentions were good, that they wanted him to feel comfortable, but sometimes he felt like they were trying to hard. He liked it much more when they kind of, forgot about it all together, when they just talked to him.

            That’s probably why he liked Gabe so much to begin with. Gabe was totally indifferent to the situation, not that William told him when they first met. Gabe called him Bilvy and Bill, he touched William’s hair, and said he had pretty eyes. Gabe didn’t comment when he found panties in Bill’s bunk, clean ones, the type that groupies didn’t wear. Bill’s pants were so tight most of the time that you could clearly see the panties lines, Gabe must have noticed, considering that he was always _accidentally_ dropping things so that Bill would pick them up, but never once did he actually ask.

            Sometimes William think Gabe knew all along. He walked, and acted differently depending on what he was. When he was a girl, he was more lady-like, more feminine, walking with his back straighter and spoke in a lighter, more airy tone. Even if he was still wearing jeans and a teeshirt he did it, sometimes he didn’t even realize, until Butcher or Sisky said, “Dude, what? I can’t fucking hear you, are you, like, choking or something? Can you breathe?”

            It worked the other way too. Most people didn’t notice, but it’s what he did. But Gabe, Gabe noticed. He could just see the way Bill held himself and he knew, he held doors open for him on those days, was more polite, and called him ‘Bilvy’ instead of just ‘Bill’ or ‘William’. It was nice, that for once he didn’t have to explain anything. Hell, every time Hayley greeted him, she would hug him tight, like she did with everyone, and ask, “So, how is Bill today?” and he would answer, “She is fine.” or “He is awesome.”

            For the first time in what seemed like three hundred years, William didn’t have to explain anything. He kind of really loves not having to explain things.

-x-x-

            They were making out on Gabe’s couch when Bill told him. In between the kissing, when they pulled away to take small gulps of air, William told him.

            “So, uh, Gabe,” he said, before Gabe tugged his hair and brought him closer. A few seconds later he continued, “I’m sort of, maybe,”

            Gabe stared at him, “If you’re telling me that you’re gay, you’re a bit late to the party, Bilvy.” he leaned up to kiss Bill.

            “No it isn’t that,” he mumbled into Gabe’s mouth. Gabe made a humming noise, and Bill said, as best as he could, “I’m kind of… like, ow! Don’t bite me! I’m kind of a girl sometimes, and sometimes I’m a boy.” he started to pull away, getting himself ready for the questions and explanations, and for a moment wished that he could have kept it a secret for a bit longer. When he wasn’t spending time with Gabe he could wear whatever he wanted, he wasn’t ashamed, but he didn’t want Gabe to be like everyone else. Didn’t want him to worry about if he needed to call Bill a she or a he, or anything. Except, all that Gabe said was, “Okay,” and “I know,” and, “I’m going to assume you’re done talking so we can make out so more.”

            They ended up in the bedroom long before William could even think about what Gabe said.

-x-x-

            William struggled to zip up the back of his dress. It was a light blue, the color of cotton candy, that was tight around his torso - except for where a girl’s breasts would be, he was too lazy to stuff a bra today - and began to go out around his waist, stopping just above his knees. The only problem was the zipper went from just above his butt to the neckline, and he didn’t have extenda-arms. One day, but not today. Which meant he was stuck flailing around his room, zipper resting in the middle of his back, and generally looking ridiculous. Scrunching his nose, because maybe, _just maybe_ , that will make his arms a few inches longer, he reached behind him again, trying to grab it. Faintly he heard the door open, but he didn’t pay much attention, until he heard Gabe laugh.

            “Yeah, laugh all you want, but I look fucking adorable in this,” Bill said, rolling his eyes. Gabe nodded, not that Bill could see, and said, “Yeah I bet you do.” He walked over, and zipped the dress up easily, as William sighed and stood up straighter. Turning around, Gabe looked him up and down, a small smile breaking out.

            “Yeah, you do look adorable, Bilvy.” he said. Bill smiled, and kissed Gabe’s cheek. He didn’t know everything about himself, and neither did Gabe, but for once, he was glad that he didn’t have to worry about explaining it to anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> i do this thing where i volunteer to do things on anon on tumblr, because im desperate for attention  
> this is the result of that


End file.
